Lights Out for Merriman?

September 6, 2009
Shawne Merriman is Roger Goodells new problem child.  Stay classy San Diego!

Shawne Merriman is Roger Goodell's new problem child. Stay classy San Diego!

According to numerous reports, Shawne Merriman was arrested early Sunday morning for assaulting his girlfriend.  The charges allege that after choking her, he restrained her from leaving.  The victim?  MTV reality “star” Tila Tequila.

Tequila, whose real name is Tila Nguyen, accuses the San Diego linebacker of choking her and then throwing her to the ground when she attempted to escape.  He was booked and released earlier today from jail.  She is the former star of “A Shot at Love with Tequila Tequila” on MTV and gained fame as an early MySpace phenomenon.

I had no idea the two were dating, but I can totally see it.  If you’ve ever seen the show, ‘roided up toolbags with mohawks are commonplace.  I’m just surprised the attention hungry Merriman never made an appearance.  He had all of last season off due to a knee injury, and certainly could have fit the show in his schedule (which consisted of a weekly football preview show and lifting weights at Venice’s Muscle Beach).  He probably declined because he would’ve blended in with every other over-inflated greaseball on the show.  Furthermore, it’s fitting that Tequila is dating a player from the city which means “a whale’s vagina” (thanks Ron Burgundy) because I’ve heard the same term used to reference her private places too.

We here at the Blueduck don’t condone assualting women (Boise State lineman are a different story) and the facts that Merriman plays for the Chargers or that Tila Tequila is a talentless slut don’t influence my view.  But as a Patriots loyalist, I will take the opportunity to point out that stuff like this is what sets playoff teams apart from championship teams.  To win Super Bowls, you need to have players who put the team before themselves.  Negative attention draws the focus away from the team and towards the incidents of the players.

Tila Tequila couldve used this for defense earlier this morning.

Tila Tequila could have used this for defense earlier this morning.

Merriman was suspended for 4 games in 2006 for testing positive for steroids, missed all of last year due to the knee injury (which could’ve been taken care of with surgery the prior off-season, but he declined), and now is once again increasing the odds of missing games this season.  It’s obvious he doesn’t put his team ahead of himself.  Luckily for Chargers fans, the team drafted his future replacement in Larry English, this past April.  Merriman is entering a contract year and this is not the way to go about convincing management to sign you to a record deal.

So while the Chargers get ready for a week one matchup with Oakland, the team now has a new headache to deal with.  The team is very strict about the character of the players they employ, so I’m expecting a multiple game suspension for Merriman.  General Manager AJ Smith will not tolerate this alleged behavior and will certainly not forget this incident come free agency.  It could be “lights out” for Merriman in 2009.  Way to stay class San Diego.