Blue Duck Masters Preview

April 8, 2010

O THE AZALEAS

A tradition unlike any other…. Georgia Pines, Pimento Cheese, Undulating Greens, Magnolia Lane, yellow flagsticks, tight lies, and rich middle-aged white men in khakis and gay hats… did we mention the Azaleas.

There is nothing better than tuning into the Masters and listening to Mike Tirico and/or Jim Nantz’ opening monologues that make Shakespeare sound like a cold-hearted prick.  If there is a time for “over the top”, the Masters is the event.

Contenders– Westwood, Els, Paddy, Furyk- We hope he doesn’t contend bc its so damn boring, Goosen- great “fast green” putter, Poulter, Cabrera, Mickelson, Allenby- Augusta is known as a “second-shot” golf course and nobody hits mid irons better, Kenny Perry- I still cry thinking about last year, and- speaking of crying, Steve Stricker has to be a favorite.  Also, Ross Fisher-  who collectively, played better than anyone last year in the Majors.

Luke Donald has put on about 20 lbs in the last year and quietly become relevant again.  3 top 10’s in 8 events this year for the Brit who hasn’t 3 putted since 7th grade, literally.

Staying with the British theme, Ian Poulter’s loud pants and eye makeup should contend.

Sleeper Picks—Couples, Schwartzel/Oosthuizen, Duval, Ryan Moore, Jason Dufner…


I love Freddy, and the dirtbag has been lights out on the senior circuit shooting nothing above 68, and winning 3 of 4 events, but there will be one major element missing at Augusta that has been present for all his victories this year.  A golf cart.  I don’t see him contending for four days.

Brian Gay has had a pretty quiet season following up a breakout year in ’09, but has made 8 of 9 cuts and rarely misses a fairway.  On a second shot course, I always favor Mizunos hitting into slick greens.

Only one person has this wallpaper on their desktop, Brian Gay.

Its hard to call Sergio a sleeper, but, with his history in Majors, Ray Romano may be more of a favorite than the pouty Spaniard.  I just have a bad feeling that he will have a good week.

Tiger Returns–  After many weeks of in-patient therapy, aka A Build-Your-Own-Fleshlight-Kit and a Hooters Calendar, Tiger Woods is returning to professional golf at the Masters.  The Masters is THE week for golfers and golf fans.   There are roars for great shots, ovations for great men, and more fast food joints than you can shake your dick at  (If you shake your dick at fast food joints like we do).

Tiger has to be the favorite.  He plays his best when everything is on the line.  While most of us can barely even get the club back if more than 4 people are watching us tee off, Tiger will tee off on Thursday knowing everyone will be watching.  ESPN is showing his tee shot live more than two hours before their coverage even starts at 4pm.

Best Threesome of the Thursday/Friday lineups other than Tiger, Elin, and Jamie Jungers of course-

9:51am and 12:03pm are both open tee times.  I tried like hell to hook that up on golfnow.com, but that bastard Michael Breed was wrong about how easy it is to book.  I ended up calling Augusta direct, and getting a foursome on at 9:51 under the name ‘Donohue.’  I hope Chad Campbell, Francesco Molinari, and Paul Casey don’t mind slow play.

What the fuck is a Yonex? Even if its the worst club on earth, its better than Wilson Staff.

The Ernie Els, Anthony Kim, Ryo Ishikawa is one of about 3 good tee times.  Kim and Els are coming off recent victories, and Ryo has a press following that rivals Tiger’s.

What to Expect. Augusta is a monster now (7,400 yards) and is not the wide open course that could really be played multiple different ways like it once was.  Don’t get me wrong, it is still the most beautiful, best put together course in the country, but it has lost some of what made it unique.

Tiger coming back is the biggest thing to happen to golf since Jesse Ortiz unveiled the Orlimar Trimetal.  And the return will take much of the attention off what could be the best event on tour.  No doubt, if you weren’t sick of the Tiger scandal already, you will be by Sunday.

Luke Donald wins after Sergio double bogeys on the first playoff hole.  Quiros third.

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Tiger Speaks

February 19, 2010

Tiger Woods broke his silence earlier today, making a statement at the TPC Sawgrass clubhouse. In an awkward display, Tiger apologized for his behavior, admitting to cheating, vowing to improve himself, and asking for the media to respect his family’s privacy.

Like a deer in headlights, Tiger took to the podium and spoke for 14 minutes before departing to return to rehab.  Luckily, a camera “malfunction” forced the feed to come from a side view of the embattled superstar, ending the robotic display he was putting on.

A quick analysis of his performance (afterall, that IS what this was):

  • While all of these golf “experts” swear that these were Tiger’s words, not those of a PR firm, I’m not buying it.  Mike Tirico, just because ESPN allows you to anchor golf coverage, spare me your “inside information”.  Rick Reilly? Please, you ceased relevance years ago, so save the analysis for ESPN the Mag.  You’re not much better in front of a camera (click links above to see him ruin SportsCenter).
  • Let’s be honest; Tiger didn’t write that speech.  In fact, when watching it, it appeared that he had been reading the statement for the first time on the air.  He awkwardly stumbled through parts of it, and it wasn’t because of emotion.  He’d pause and then look at his notes, realize his sentence wasn’t ended and try to power through.  One would think that if you were going to make a speech, you’d read it over a few times and be comfortable with it, right?
  • While there have been mixed reviews on his statement, let’s get one thing straight: No matter what he said, he was damned.  Damned if he glossed over the affairs, damned if he didn’t.  The golf community is up in arms because he didn’t announce his return to the tour, the pop community is up in arms because he didn’t divulge what steps his family is taking next.  But if he did, he’d be blamed for putting golf ahead of his problems or pandering to the media, looking for forgiveness.  So let’s not criticize what was said too much.  He’s in a no-win spot, and he gave us the obligatory apologize America apparently needed.  Let it be.
  • Finally, Elin wasn’t there.  Does this mean they aren’t working things out?  Who cares?  It’s their life, their problem, not ours.  In fact, I respect the fact that no matter what’s going on, she didn’t show up to feint support for the guy who cheated on her numerous times.  She can give him a chance to prove he’s changing, but she didn’t play the role of the “Politician’s wife”, showing up as the pathetic, weak woman who is standing by her husband because that’s what she’s supposed to do (see Edwards, Elizabeth, and Sandford, Jenny).  Kudos Elin, call me 🙂

My issue is with everyone criticizing Tiger and his scripted statement.  Listen, he’s a golfer, an athlete, but he’s human.  We’re so quick to tear someone down, but who built him up in the first place?  Let’s be honest, he’s not sorry for what he did; he’s sorry he got caught.  If the media hadn’t broken the story on Thanksgiving, maybe Elin wouldn’t have snooped on his phone, and he wouldn’t have gotten caught.  So let’s not kid ourselves here.  He’s sorry that his life got turned upside down.  Is that wrong? Yes.  Is what he did wrong? Probably.  Does it change my view on him as a golfer? No, and it shouldn’t change yours either.

What is he to us? A golfer.  He’s not our father or brother.  What he does on the course is all that should matter to us.  We pay to see him play golf, not for his personal life.  Does he need to be a saint to play golf? No.  Is he one of the best to ever grace a golf course? Absolutely. So to all those holier than thou people out there complaining about what he says/does, you’re just kidding yourselves.

Fast forward to a Sunday afternoon, with Tiger in the final pairing of a tournament; who’s going to win?  Who are you tuning in to see?  Certainly not Phil (tits) Mickelson or Sergio Garcia.  He didn’t “disgrace” his sport.  He didn’t cheat the sport.  There’s plenty of athletes who have betrayed their sports and they haven’t been villainized, so why should Tiger (See A-Rod/Big Papi)?

Bottom line: Tiger’s doing what he thinks he needs to do, be it for himself, his family, or the public eye.  But in the end, none of it matters.  He did what he did, he’s doing what he’s got to do.  Let’s just wait patiently for his return to the course, where he will reign again.  We’ll see who’s hating him when he comes back and wins a couple more majors.  I know I’ll be waiting.


Steve Phillips’ Public Walk of Shame

October 23, 2009
Steve Phillips had an affair with this dog over the summer.  Now shes telling the world.

Steve Phillips had an affair with this dog over the summer. Now she's telling the world.

To quote Macaulay Culkin’s character in the masterpiece Home Alone, “Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof!”  And that may even be an understatement of epic proportions to refer to the mistress in the Steve Phillips affair saga.

For those of you unfamiliar with the situation, here’s the drama:  Steve Phillips had a relationship with a 22-year production assistant at ESPN this past summer.  Brooke Hundley, the mistress, apparently thought the relationship was much more serious than it turned out to be and wound up giving a letter detailing their sordid affair to Phillips’ wife.  Allegedly, Hundley sat in the driveway of Phillips’ family home in Wilton, CT and waited for the wife to get home to deliver the letter in person.  But when the wife came home, Hundley panicked, got in her car, and backed out of the driveway (not before backing through a stone wall), speeding away.  The letter was left on the front door. Furthermore, Hundley stalked Phillip’s eldest son, chatting with him under a fake name on instant messager, friending him with a fake profile on Facebook, and trying to glean family information from the boy.

I wouldn't bang this heffer with CareBear's dick.

I wouldn't bang this heffer with CareBear's dick.

Steve Phillips admitted to the affair earlier this week, and is currently trying to protect his family from this “delusional and obsessive” individual.  He is also on a “leave of absence” from ESPN while he deals with this issue, although it is widely believed he is suspended and eventually will be fired for his transgressions, following in the steps of another former Baseball Tonight analyst, Harold Reynolds.  Sadly, this isn’t the first affair Phillips has been engaged in.  In 1998, he was forced to admit to several affairs after being accused of sexual harassment while with the Mets.  He settled that case out of court.  It has also been reported that his wife has filed for divorce, immediately after this story broke.

Hundley is a graduate from Ithaca College with a degree in TV/Radio.  She’s certainly got the face for radio.  In her letter, she reported in graphic detail some of the things her and Phillips engaged in.  Some of the gems:

  • She’s “not just some random girl he had sex with in parking lots.
  • They “first slept together in St. Louis in his hotel suite.
  • They apparently went without a condom, because Steve “assured me I wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant since his vasectomy.”
  • They exchanged texts “mostly about the sexual side of our relationship.”  She even has “some saved if you ever want to read them.”
  • “He’s glad you decided to stay at home, he enjoys being with me because I have more of a passion and drive to really do something with my life.”
  • And she’s “not telling you all of this to hurt you in any way”
  • “To top it off, Steve has a big birthmark on his crotch right above his penis and one on his left inner thigh, so you know i’m not being fake”
I'd rather bang the storm trooper.

I'd rather bang the storm trooper.

Miss Hundley, is a real class act.  I’m glad that she wasn’t trying to hurt Mrs Phillips by writing this; imagine what her letter would look like if she WAS trying to hurt her?  I mean, she’s got a drive to do something with her life, what does Marni Phillips bring to the table?  For a communication’s major, who told students at her alma mater that writing is one of the most important skills a professional needs, the letter looks like it could’ve been written by a pubescent teenager.

What did we learn here, other than Phillips is a serial cheater and has ruined his family’s lives in the most public way possible?  First of all, if you’re going to cheat, cheat up.  Never, ever cheat down.  It’s that simple.  Listen, Phillips isn’t a particularly talented baseball man (See here) but he’s not dirtiest old man either.  He could definitely do better than this pig.  Hot chicks don’t become obsessed with their paramour, they simply move on because they can.  Ugly girls though, they are never going to see anything this good again in their miserable lives.  They are going to hold on for dear life, it’s science.  Second, ESPN doesn’t care about illicit affairs, but they do care about them when they come to public light.  It’s widely known that Chris Berman and Mark Schlereth are among the worst offenders in Bristol.  But nobody cares because their families aren’t sent nasty letters or pressing charges.  When Harold Reynolds was sued, he was never seen on the network again.  Phillips is next.


Anthony Kim Shows Up To Work Drunk, Dominates

October 13, 2009
Out until 4 am the night before a pivotal international matchup, a hungover Kim beat Allenby 5 and 3.

Out until 4 am the night before a pivotal international matchup, a hung over Kim beat Allenby 5 and 3.

Reports have come out this week regarding the preparation, or lack thereof, that Anthony Kim uses before a big match.  Well known as a frat boy on Tour, it is reported that Kim stayed out drinking until 4 am Sunday morning before staggering to his hotel room to rest up for the final round of the President’s Cup.  His opponent, Robert Allenby, alleges that he was told that Kim came back to the hotel “sideways” only hours before their matchup.

While I have no doubt this is true, I do have a problem with Allenby being the one to call out the 24-year old.  Why?  Because Allenby played like garbage on Sunday and lost 5 and 3 to the hung over party boy.  Allenby named Kim the “modern-day John Daly”, as if that’s an insult?  The bigger question is this, who is it more embarrassing for:

Anthony Kim, who won the match, helped contribute to the U.S. victory over the International team, and apparently had a great time along the way?

The U.S. President’s Cup team, which won the tournament and featured dominant golf all-around?

Or Robert Allenby, who was apparently well-rested enough to shoot +3 on Sunday, en route to a loss to Kim?

The verdict?  Allenby, of course.  There is no question that Kim has a reputation for his love of a few too many beers.  Freddy Couples, the U.S. team captain even addressed the issue with Kim earlier in the week.  But Anthony Kim was still able to show up to the course, hung over or not, and put together a solid tournament.  Allenby, on the other hand, played poorly (5 bogeys, 2 birdies on Sunday) and is now bashing his opponent for his lifestyle.  He even went as far as to say “He is the loosest cannon on that team.”  So what, Allenby?  The kid is 14 years younger than you, ranked one place higher than you, and has made more on Tour than you did this year.  He neither hurt himself or his team.  What’s your excuse?

With the performance of Robert Allenby on Sunday, Anthony Kim probably could have taken a seat to catch a nap mid-round.  Or had a couple brews to help his hangover.

With the performance of Robert Allenby on Sunday, Anthony Kim probably could have taken a seat to catch a nap mid-round. Or had a couple brews to help his hangover.


Howard and the Schmuck: Phillies Sued for 200th HR Ball

October 12, 2009

On July 16th, Ryan Howard hit the 200th homerun of his young career.  He became the quickest player to reach the milestone, doing so in just 658 games.  It took Alex Rodriguez 826 games to reach the same mark (ARod was 25 when he hit his, though, Howard is 29).  As has been the case in recent years where milestone homeruns are hit seemingly every night, not a whole lot was made of the round tripper, but more than a month later the story lingered for more selfish reasons.

Howard will have many more Homeruns, but if he wants to keep them, he better slim down and keep them in the park.

Howard will have many more Homeruns, but if he wants to keep them, he better slim down and keep them in the park.

It was a packed house in Miami that day, 39% full.  About 15,000 fans showed up to watch a division rivalry.  The ball was “caught” by 12-year-old Jennifer Valdivia.  She was sitting in one of the quarter-full sections of LandShark (A crappy beer, a crappier stadium) Stadium, and when the ball ended up under a seat a couple to the left of her own, Valdivia moved briskly, but did not face much competition in her quest to procure the ball.  Then she simply went back to her seat.

A Phillies representative was sent out to get Jennifer and her 16 year old brother.  They were brought down to the clubhouse and given cotton candy and a different ball signed by Ryan Howard in exchange for the historic homerun ball.  They took the exchange, and all parties seemed to be content.

Now I do not know if Miami area attorney Norm Kent approached them or they approached Kent, but this guy was born for this case.  Kent is a Brooklyn-born former talk show host and political advocate whose office is riddled with Brooklyn Dodgers memorabilia (Read up on Norm Kent here).  Kent seems like the type of guy who loves to be in the spotlight, and was waiting for an opportunity to attach himself to baseball somehow.

Norm Kent as Dodgers Fantasy Camp.  Click to read his fantasy baseball blog.

Norm Kent at Dodger's Fantasy Camp. Click to read his fantasy baseball blog.

The famous Valdivia vs. The Philadelphia Phillies case will be known for giving fans the ultimate right to a baseball caught in the stands.  That’s right, Kent sued the Phillies so Jennifer could get her baseball back.

The practice of returning milestone homerun balls to the player that hit them became very prevalent around the time of Mark McGwire’s run.  At that time, people were excited to catch one and get driven down to the clubhouse to meet with the Larger than Life slugger.  Things seem to have changed since McGwire’s 70th sold for a cool million.

The market has slowed to a halt since then, and Norm Kent’s appraisal of the ball as being worth $1,000 is probably correct.  Someone would pay that much for the ball right now.  This is a ball that could be worth a lot of money in maybe 50 years, or the week that Ryan Howard gets enshrined in the Hall of Fame.   It all depends on the first basemen’s consistency over the rest of his career.

Maybe Kent is trying to drive the price of the ball up with all of this publicity.  I do not know, but I do know that there is something wrong with this whole thing.  The fans at the games are looking for payouts.

The price was a bit steep for Matt Carson, but he will treasure the bat instead.

The price was a bit steep for Matt Carson, but he will treasure the bat instead.

Earlier this season, Matt Carson, a 28-year old career minor leaguer playing for Oakland, hit his first career Major League homerun.  When the team inquired about the ball, the fan said he could have it, for $10,000.  Just another sign that people do not know how much Minor League baseball players make.  Carson said no, and got his bat authenticated instead.

Part of me does not blame the girl.  She is just a kid at a game.  She probably is barely paying attention, dragged there by her older brother.  She most likely had no idea who Ryan Howard was before she grabbed the ball.  So for her to feel swindled is normal because she was told by Norm Kent that she was swindled.

I am disappointed in Norm Kent.  This is a baseball fan claiming to be an advocate of baseball fans, but for a real fan, going into the Phillies’ clubhouse after the game, and getting a signed ball would be better than having that homerun ball.

Seth McFarlane, creator of the Comic book character, Spawn, paid 3 million bucks for the Mark McGwire 70th homerun ball.  I think its worth $9 now.

Seth McFarlane, creator of the Comic book character, Spawn, paid 3 million bucks for the Mark McGwire 70th homerun ball. I think its worth $9 now.

Obviously, the Phillies could have handled this better.  Ryan Howard should have reached out more and given the fan more than just a signed baseball.  Maybe sent a personal letter and memorabilia.  I doubt this would appease Norm Kent, but it may have made the fan’s experience better.  Also, giving cotton candy to a kid to get something away from them makes the whole situation sketchy.

This is just a sad representation of what sports have come to.  In an interview, an NPR journalist asked Norm Kent if he were Ryan Howard, wouldn’t he want the ball back?  His response:

“There was a time, and day, and era, when that argument might have had some merit…, but this is an age when that ball has more than just historic significance.  There’s nothing to say that Ryan Howard, would not, years from now, auction off that ball as other professional athletes auction off their rings and jewelry to generate money for themselves.”

I’d say, “Go to hell,” but I think you’re well on your way.  Just do me a favor, and don’t take baseball with you.

Norm Kent’s Interview with NPR
Video of the Homerun


Bye-bye Dre Bly

October 12, 2009
Hey Dre, come here!  Cannot play with them. Cannot win with them. Cannot coach with them. Cant do it. I want winners. I want people that want to win.

"Hey Dre, come here! Cannot play with them. Cannot win with them. Cannot coach with them. Can't do it. I want winners. I want people that want to win."

There is no way that Dre Bly is allowed to walk out of practice on Tuesday without an extra orifice in his backside and an article of footwear lodged in his existing one.  Not as long as Mike Singletary is the coach in San Francisco.  The interception/showboat/fumble was embarrassing and completely unacceptable.  For those unfamiliar with the play, let me take you back:

Third quarter, Falcons driving downfield at the start of the half.  Niners losing 35-10 at the time.  Bly picked a Matt Ryan pass intended for Roddy White at his own 10 yard line.  He then proceeded to sprint up field with the ball.  But that’s when things went awry.  By the time he reached his own 20 yard line (only 10 yards after making the pick) he puts a hand behind his head and high steps, all while carrying the football like a loaf of bread.  He was instantly caught from behind by Roddy White, who stripped him of the ball and allowed the Falcons to recover in San Francisco territory. 

Dre Bly mightve showboated himself out of a job in San Francisco.

Dre Bly might've showboated himself out of a job in San Francisco.

There’s no way that Singletary saw that play as it happened, because there is no way on Earth that Bly would’ve been able to make it to the locker room under his own power after his coach was done with him.  This is the coach that will get in anyone’s face, sent Vernon Davis to the locker room last year for not contesting an overthrown pass, and will openly jaw with any opposing player near his sideline.  He’s not going to stand for a play like this.  Nobody should and it certainly won’t be Samurai Mike. 

The worst part is that the team was down 25 points at the time and needed a momentum swing badly.  The pick would’ve helped.  A veteran player, like Dre Bly, would’ve realized this and used some of the wisdom he’s gathered in 11 years in the NFL and tucked the ball while running straight up field.  Instead, the cocky and selfish Bly went Primetime nowhere near the end zone and cost his team a shot at rallying.  His gaffe allowed the Falcons to recover and convert a field goal, extending their lead to four touchdowns in the third quarter.

As if the play itself isn’t bad enough, Bly cockily replied after the game, “Like I say, I’m going to be me.  That’s who I’ve been my whole life, that’s who I was in college. I have fun. Dre’s going to be Dre.”  Mike Singletary certainly won’t stand for selfish players who put themselves ahead of the team.  Not only did he make the mistake, he showed no remorse for his misdoing.  Reverend Mike isn’t going to be very forgiving of that.  It wouldn’t be a surprise to see Bly, whose on his third team in four years, get benched or even cut for his transgressions.  They are completely counterproductive to the mission that the Niners are on.  Playoff teams don’t make those careless mistakes.  Most rookies wouldn’t make those careless mistakes.  Veteran players absolutely shouldn’t make those mistakes.  It could be time for bye-bye for Dre Bly.


Cuzzi’s Call Has Fans Crying Foul

October 10, 2009
You be the judge.  Not a tough call (Getty Images)

You be the judge. Not a tough call (Getty Images)

The New York Yankees took down the Minnesota Twins to take a commanding 2-0 lead in the ALDS on Friday night.  The Yankees won in dramatic fashion with a walk off homerun in the 11th by 2009 acquisition, Mark Teixiera.  The dramatic winning effort was overshadowed, though by an absolutely horrible call that took place in the top of the 11th.

Joe Mauer was leading off the top of the eleventh with Damaso Marte (how did this guy make the postseason roster?) on the hill.  Joe hit a flair down the left field line that, off the bat, looked as if it would be well foul.  Melky Cabera gave chase and nearly caught up to it in the left field corner.  The leftfielder got a piece of it, it hit the ground, and bounced into the seats by the foul pole.

Phil Cuzzi was literally 20 feet from the spot of this soon-to-be mess.  He is staring directly at the occurrence, and as the ball bounced away, Cuzzi emphatically motions that the ball was foul.

There are a few things that are just really bad here.  First of all, this ball was fair by a foot.  I am not even exaggerating there.  The foul line is actually as fair line, and this ball was probably eight inches inside the line.  So, seeing that as foul is about as bad a call as I have ever witnessed.

Second, this would have been a ground rule double or a foul ball.  Either way the play is dead.  So, if Cuzzi saw this as fair and just called foul by instinct, he had ample time to change his decision.  Cuzzi would have gotten booed a little for this, but further review by everyone would have shown he was correct.

Third, this ball nicked off of Melky Cabrera’s glove.  Melky was well in fair territory when it hit off of him, and that alone, even if Cuzzi saw the ball land foul, should merit a fair call.  The only thing I can think of was that he was waiting to see chalk, and when he did not see it, Cuzzi called the ball foul.

Phil Cuzzi has a track record of controversy in the MLB, but this wasnt about ego like usual.  This was a case of either dyslxia or blindness.

Phil Cuzzi has a track record of controversy in the MLB, but this wasn't about ego like usual. This was a case of either dyslxia or blindness.

Really the worst part about this call is that the third base umpire would have gotten it right.  I do not see the need for the extra two umpires in the playoffs.  Now that you have instant replay for homerun/non homerun calls, the outfield is pretty much covered.

There are very few situations that the umpire further down the line will get a better view of a catch or a boundary call.  I understand it gives the base umpires a better opportunity to watch the bags, and see if runners tag up, etc, but you are asking an umpire to do something he has not done all year.

Phil Cuzzi really blew this call.  He saw down for up, left for right, fair for foul.  It was his one call of the night.  Chuck Meriweather blew numerous calls behind the dish, but he was allowed instant redemption by the next pitch.   Cuzzi got one chance, and made a mockery of Abner Doubleday and the rules of baseball.

If you want to see what fans are saying, here are a few reactions from Twitter and comment boxes from various articles (just know that I didn’t edit these people, and apparently, no one can spell):

Umpire Phil Cuzzi are U buddies with Tim Donaghy?”

I really believe that Phil Cuzzi might have made the worst officiating call in history. How did he miss it?”

Umpire Phil Cuzzi was the MVP for the Yankees last night”

Phil Cuzzi you don’t need to make the trip to the Metrodome. Watch from home. Broadcast in HD maybe you will see the White Foul Line.”

Umpire’s ugly mistake costly to Twins: Phil Cuzzi might want to register under a pseudonym at his hotel in Minn”

Dear Phil Cuzzi, I’ll pay for your lasik surgery… You should feel horrible”

Phil Cuzzi Stinks, And I Don’t like him”

Then the Ones that Think the Fix is In:

Calling for the head of Phil Cuzzi…what a joke of a call last night…no way can someone unintentionally make that big of a mistake”

Phil Cuzzi is paid off with Steinbrenner money.”

“come on people…this is how the mob works…they own these umpires…remember the n.b.a. ref….all the money that is on a yankees trip to the world series…MONEY TALKS”

“Lets really investigate Cuzzi. His calls to vegas? his friends? All of it. If it isnt him, Its MLB, One of the 2 is guilfy. Im so disgusted with the game now. I used to be a true fan of it.”

“Just another case of Bud Selig and MLB doing whatever they can to guarantee that the Yankees get to the World Series.”

“Get some glasses and then get a brain. That call was blown on purpose. GO buy that ump a drink. I’m sure he has plenty of them today. I hope he made enough to retire on with that call.”

“That call ruined a great game. Rigged.”

Some Said it was Karma:

“Brandon inge got hit by the ball that would have scored a run!!!! quit all your crying the twins are there too by bad calls so everbody just zipp it it done!!”

“Wee, hey twins fans…remember that blown call when inge got hit? I’m sure you do. Maybe this was super obvious, but what goes around comes around.”

Who was happiest with this call?

You may think it was the Yankees or Yankees fans or even the National Association for the Defamation of Umpires (NAfDU for short) but no, it was Joe Nathan.  Nathan’s complete collapse gets pushed back a page because of an umpire’s blindness.  Nathan, who was sweating like he was in withdrawal, gave up two missiles to start he ninth inning and knot up the score.  Nathan said after the game, “I wasn’t the only one who blew one tonight.”

Joe Nathan is pumped that everyone forgot about him blowing this one, and turned their attention to a call.

Joe Nathan is pumped that everyone forgot about him blowing this one, and turned their attention to a call.

No, you weren’t Joe, but giving up a 440 ft bomb to ARod kept the game going long enough to allow Phil Cuzzi his opportunity. So don’t deflect criticism because you have gotten off extremely easy.  You owe Phil Cuzzi a thank you card.

If Twins fans really think the fix is in, then I suggest you investigate your closer before you start suggesting that the mob paid a guy standing in the left field corner to blow a critical call in game two of the ALDS.