Players Preview

May 7, 2009

Because my Masters preview article was dead on, I feel it necessary to write one for the next big tournament on the PGA tour.  So without further ado, here’s my Players Championship Preview.

This is a sick field, and should make for a good tourney. In the past few years the Players has been a ball strikers course, and winners have been near the top in GIR for the week.  Winners have also been accurate off the tee, but Sergio Garcia proved last year that you can win here even if you putt like a blind man getting a blowjob.

My Four Horsemen

Tiger Woods:
I can’t not pick him.  He can’t hit his driver and his long irons haven’t been working of late, but he is still better than everyone out there.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see him pull a Roy “Tin Cup” McAvoy and just bring a seven-iron this week.  He would still make the cut, and scare Phil’s ever shrinking tits on sunday.

Camilo Villegas:

Always seems to find a way to flex

Always seems to find a way to flex

My favorite Colombian since… well, he’s my favorite Colombian, and he draws the right kind of fans to the game.  Seriously though, he is a ball striker and leads the PGA in Greens in Regulation hit this season.  Driving accuracy has been an issue, but he’s getting it on the dance floor.

Sean O’Hair:
He is another ball striker, and coming off a win last week, no one is hitting the ball better.  They mentioned the fact that he didn’t hit a putt over 10ft about 45 times during the final hour of coverage last sunday, but he didn’t have to hit a putt over ten feet because he was pure.  He seems like a huge tool, and he choked hard at Bay Hill and blamed cool weather.  We could see a replay of the choking at 17 here if he’s in the hunt sunday.

Stud

Boo = Stud

Boo Weekley:
I just love Boo, and Boo is due.

My Longshot
DJ Trahan:
Second in the PGA in GIR, and hitting fairways 68% of the time.  14 top-10’s in his career and 2 wins.  If he doesn’t fold on the intimidating 17th he’s got a shot.

And watch out for Ryuji Imada.  Still got a good feeling about him.


Don’t be Surprised if:

Sergio does it again:
I would never pick him because I hate him, but Sergio’s game is built for this course, and in Sergio’s mind, he won a major last year here.  No one has ever repeated in the Players, and I hope to god this little prick isn’t the first, but we shall see.  There is one thing to be sure of, if he doesn’t win, it wasn’t his fault.

Kenny Perry repeats his Master’s performance:
I think Kenny is hoping for a nice tenth place finish.  He would get his nice paycheck without the last pairing pressure.  The thought of Perry on the 17th tee looking across the vast 120yds of water at that bullshit little green with a lead on Sunday makes the old man reach for his Flomax.  I love the guy, and would love to see him ace one there, but my Nostradamus-like instincts tell me otherwise.

We Witness The KJ Choi Show:
Yeah, that’s right.  I said it.

Who Won’t Make the Cut?:
Paddy’s been struggling of late, but I think he will stay in the mix.  I’m gonna go with Bubba Watson.  He has the game, but I just don’t think he can play well two weeks in a row.  He will probably win the tourney now.

Best Finish Scenario:
Tiger and Kenny tied going into 17 on Sunday.  Kenny sticks it close and Tiger aces it.  Kenny birdies 18, Tiger pars, and Tiger beats him in a playoff.  Everyone goes home happy, and we get a lot of video of Kenny’s daughter in the crowd.

Still got game, but does he have the balls?

Still got game, but does he have the balls?

In Closing, this is a tournament that favors great players.   Players have no choice but to feel the pressure.  The guys with Major Championship experience under their belt have a huge advantage.  The TPC at Sawgrass always makes for a great Sunday, though.  So grab a 6 pack, switch on CBS, and rot on the couch, you deserve it.

Can i possibly be wronger (is that a word?) than I was last time?  We shall see.

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Sergio Whines About Augusta

April 13, 2009

Here at Blue Duck Sports, we try to give credit where credit is due. Earlier this week, in his preview of the Masters, Carebear had some bold predictions for the outcome of the tournament, and some choice words for Sergio Garcia. And while most of his predictions were not correct, his estimation of the Spaniard was dead on.

Here is what Carebear said earlier this week:

We all know Sergio is a little bitch, but he also is a bad putter.  He strikes the ball great, but has no confidence on the greens.  That is not a good thing at Augusta.  177th on tour in putts per round doesn’t translate well here.  He is also a mental midget (pc? mental little person), and has tendencies to carry bad shots through rounds.

These words were telling, as Sergio responded by shooting -4 in the first two rounds of the tournament and followed it up by hitting +3 and +2 on his final 2 days in tournament. So that would go to prove that Carebear was correct in saying the “has tendencies to carry bad shots through rounds”.

But, most importantly, Carebear’s estimation that Garcia “is a little bitch” was proven correct by the Spaniard after the final round. In honor of my esteemed colleague, I bring to you Sergio Garcia’s complaints about the recently completed Masters:

  • “I don’t like it”
  • “I don’t think it’s fair”
  • “It’s too tricky”
  • “Even when it’s dry, you still get mud balls in the fairway”
  • “It’s too much of a guessing game”

When asked what he thinks Augusta National should do to fix the course, he replied:

  • “I don’t care. They can do whatever they want to. It’s not my problem. I just come here and play and then go home.”

Here’s the video showing his tantrum about one of the most heralded golf courses in the world:

So to Carebear, congratulations. You were dead-on in your assessment of Sergio Garcia’s game and his character. He indeed is a “little bitch” and doesn’t have the mental toughness to hang with the big boys.

And to Sergio, I offer you this advice: If you are going to complain about a world-renowned golf course, please offer a single suggestion as to how to improve it for your highness. How can you piss and moan about Augusta National and then have no response when asked how you would improve it? Man up!

Special thanks to our man, Paddy Harrington, for following up the cry-baby’s comments by praising how fantastic the course was. And then, Harrington added the icing on the cake by saying, “I like it when it’s difficult, but obviously it wasn’t difficult this week. It was as easy as it’s ever going to be.”

So to Mr. “I-just-come-here-and-play-and-then-go-home”, Sergio please, take your binky and go home. This is the big time, if you can’t hang, get out now!


El Pato Azul Congratulates El Pato

April 12, 2009
The sweet swingin big Argentinian earned a big green jacket

The BlueDuck congratulates the big Argentinian duck on his Masters victory in an absolute chokefest today.  Angel, light one up, you deserve it.